Category: weird

Me: I just used Google to find out if Ludovico Einaudi is single.

MFS: Well? Was he?

Me: Google wasn’t very helpful. There’s very little information on his personal life. So I am not even sure if he likes women.

MFS: Don’t give up! I assume it will be good if he is single (and likes women)?

Me: LOL. He lives in Italy, is 57 and probably has supermodels throwing themselves at him.

MFS: Defeatist!

Me: You’re right. There’s nothing I can’t achieve with some time, handcuffs and chloroform. #StockholmSyndrome 

MFS: That’s the spirit!

This weekend was spent eating Nutella straight from the jar, running my first half-marathon in weeks, watching a Jimmy Carr stand-up comedy DVD and “botanizing”.

 

Jimmy Carr

“I once fucked a woman with one leg.”

Pause.

“I should have used my cock.”

He then goes on to mime using his one leg to fuck a woman.

 

Half-marathon

I ran my first half-marathon on Saturday. At the 4km mark I was lucky enough to witness a guy take a dump behind a tree. I must admit that I really admire his technique. Feet firmly on the ground, hands on knees and arse lifted towards the heaven. It was a sight to behold.

When I relayed the above story to Fahiema, she asked, “Was it a runner?”

Me: What? Are you talking about the person or the consistency of his stool?

Anyway, the race did not go well. I was hoping to set a new personal best (anything under 2:08), but was struck by pins and needles and could barely keep up with the sub 2:15 pacesetter.

 

Botanizing

The following Instagrams were taken on my hike at Silvermine Nature Reserve.

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View from the Elephant's Eye, a cave at Silvermine Nature Reserve.

View from the Elephant’s Eye, a cave at Silvermine Nature Reserve.

Books

I am currently reading, “A splendid thousand sun” by Khaled Hosseni. He’s the very same guy who brought us “The kite runner”.

Hey remember me? My name’s Sid Kane and I used to blog. I USED to tell such funny anecdotes like, “Remember that time we had a homeless couple staying in our wendy house*? They’d sneak in at night and they’d keep us awake with their coughing and arguing. His fists, her face.”**

Anyway, the lack of blogging is a direct result of my hectic social life. And by hectic social life, I mean that I recently told a friend, “Today was so beautiful. And I knew I shouldn’t waste it. I thought of calling you and arranging something, but then I realized that this would mean putting on pants. And I was prepared to do that.” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I give new meaning to the word LAZY.

Anyway, I’m currently reading “One flew over the cuckoo’s nest” by Ken Kessey. Extract to follow:

“There’s a shipment of frozen parts come in downstairs – hearts and kidneys and brains and the like. I can hear them rumble into cold storage down the coal chute. A guy sitting in the room someplace I can’t see is talking about a guy up on Disturbed killing himself. Old Rawler. Cut both nuts off and bled to death, sitting right on the can in the latrine, half a dozen people in there with him didn’t know it till he fell off the floor, dead. What makes people so impatient is what I can’t figure; all the guy had to do was wait.”

*Wendy house – Wooden play toy room

** Not even making any of this up. Think I was in high school at the time.