Category: you’ve got to laugh

InstagramAugust
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Left to right, top to bottom:

  1. Cape Town International Airport. Taken before my flight to Durban.
  2. Sea Point, my favourite place in Cape Town. Clouds reflected in rock pool, yacht in the background.
  3. Lone girl, wrapped up in green blanket, engrossed in a novel. Mountain in the background.
  4. Spring flowers on Table Mountain.
  5. Japanese Garden, San Francisco.
  6. Selfie after a half-marathon. It would appear that I love the colour pink.
  7. Setting sun, Monterey Bay.

And it’s the end of August. And I feel like I’ve accomplished absolutely fuckall for this month. I haven’t scaled the highest peak in Africa, I haven’t run an ultra-marathon, I haven’t set any new PBs, I haven’t won a travel scholarship and I haven’t created something beautiful. The sum total of my accomplishments for this month can be summed up in four sentences:

  • I submitted my tax return forms. And got a grand total of two cents back from the government. Drinks on me.
  • I bought a coffee table. And holy crap, I am excited for its delivery! A coffee table! This kids, is what adulthood looks like. You get excited over things like a coffee table.
  • I ran one half-marathon and I didn’t even do that very well. It was a flat race and I finished in 2:05. I was also in considerable pain after the race.
  • I’ve also eaten a LOT of chocolate. Now some people might say that consuming chocolate isn’t much of an accomplishment, those people would be wrong.

 

Even though I sound disappointed in myself I am quite enjoying being back home. I’m enjoying getting back into a regular routine. I’m enjoying my evening runs with my dad. I am enjoying cooking for myself. I am enjoying nesting – buying cute, little items for my home. I am enjoying reconnecting with old friends.

 

My goals for September are:

  • Continue being awesome.
  • Make awkward conversation with members of the opposite sex.
  • Train for the Winelands Marathon.
  • Lose four kilograms. It would seem that all those pastries and chocolates have had an impact.

Yesterday, I completed the Cape Town Marathon in 4:52. Not only did I complete the marathon in sub-5 thereby ensuring my entry into an ultra, but I also did so after attending The Fray concert and arriving home at 12:00. I woke up at 05:00 the next day. Yes, I ran 42.2km in under 5 hours AND did so on only 5 hours sleep. AND didn’t poop my pants! For my next magic trick I’ll turn water into wine.

Anyway, you probably want a brief recap of my race:

Hot: It was crazy hot on Sunday. And at one point (39km mark) I was acutely aware of my breathing (I was panting) and heart rate. Luckily the water stations were well stocked and I could drench myself in glorious water.

Let other people do the hard work. On the day of the race, I ended up following pace setters. I let them do all the hard work. I left them to do all the mental arithmetic and calculators. I let them decide how fast we should run and when we should walk. This left me free to focus all my attention on listening to my audio book. Yes, I “read” a book on space while running a marathon.

Flag bearers are fun. The pace setters, the men and women who carry the flags loudly proclaiming their goals, are amazing motivators. Every so often my pace setter would shout out a slogan and his “followers” would shout back a reply.

Pace setter: Energy.

Followers: Power.

10km left. At the 32km, I tore away from of the five-hour bus. It wasn’t intentional; it just felt natural to speed up.

Grateful. I am grateful for Fahiema and Kim for standing in the heat and waving their pompoms, for handing me chocolate, and for sending me the photo of the runner in his Speedo. Thanks!

More. I want to run another marathon. I want to see what I’m really capable of. Can I run a marathon in 4:30?

Next up on the bucket list:

  • Running a half-marathon in under 2 hours. (My current PB is 2:01.)
  • Abseiling from Table Mountain. (This item has been on my bucket list for far too long.)
  • Watch The Shining. (I hear it’s really good.)

Bridesmaid
I am going to be a bridesmaid! I am going to be a bridesmaid! I am going to be a bridesmaid! And I’m not sure if you can tell, but I am really, really, really excited about the prospect. Not only because I get to wear a pretty dress, but because I get to celebrate the love of two very special people. But mainly because I get to wear a really pretty dress.

Comrades
I spent the last few days in Durban, running the last 20km of the Comrades Ultra with my dad, admiring the fish at uShaka Aquarium and walking barefoot on the beach.

My dad managed to complete the 89km race, from Pietermaritzburg to Durban, within the 12 hour cut-off (11:46 exact). The run from Pietermaritzburg to Durban is termed the “down” run. Whilst the run from Durban to Pietermaritzburg is referred to as the “up” run and is 2km shorter. Each year the route alternates between the “up” and “down” run. Because my dad managed to complete both back-to-back runs within the cut-off time, he was awarded two medals this year.

I hope to one day complete the Comrades. I hope to one day run a marathon in under 5 hours. I hope to one day run the Victoria Falls Marathon. I hope to hike the Fish River Canyon. Here’s hoping I can tick one of those items off my list this year.

Anyway, I’m back in Cape Town and having a hard time adjusting to the cold weather.

Books
I’ve only managed to read one book from cover to cover this year (Shantaram) and I really had to force myself to finish reading the novel. I started reading several books, but most of them so dull that reading felt like a chore.

Durban photos
I took the following photos at uShaka Marine World.
Turtle, uShaka, Durban

Jellyfish, uShaka, sister and her husband

I’ve spent the last couple of days in Klapmuts, teambuilding. Our teambuilding activities involved watching TEDx videos, and acting out skits that featured Pik Bothalia from the Naturalist Party (NP) and Julius Mari-na from the Environmental Freedom Fighters (EFF).

My highlight of THIS year’s teambuilding session was Mad Phoenix’s description of dolphins. Most individuals (including conservationists) perceive dolphins as cute and friendly creatures. This perception was shattered when Mad Phoenix proclaimed, “Santa Claus doesn’t exist and dolphins are rapists. Google it!”

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Pictures taken at my sister’s bachelorette party on Friday. The party was held in my apartment and we had so much of fun, playing games such as “pin the junk on the hunk” and “toilet paper wedding dresses”.

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I was in a minor car accident on Saturday morning. Heart sore.

This weekend was spent eating Nutella straight from the jar, running my first half-marathon in weeks, watching a Jimmy Carr stand-up comedy DVD and “botanizing”.

 

Jimmy Carr

“I once fucked a woman with one leg.”

Pause.

“I should have used my cock.”

He then goes on to mime using his one leg to fuck a woman.

 

Half-marathon

I ran my first half-marathon on Saturday. At the 4km mark I was lucky enough to witness a guy take a dump behind a tree. I must admit that I really admire his technique. Feet firmly on the ground, hands on knees and arse lifted towards the heaven. It was a sight to behold.

When I relayed the above story to Fahiema, she asked, “Was it a runner?”

Me: What? Are you talking about the person or the consistency of his stool?

Anyway, the race did not go well. I was hoping to set a new personal best (anything under 2:08), but was struck by pins and needles and could barely keep up with the sub 2:15 pacesetter.

 

Botanizing

The following Instagrams were taken on my hike at Silvermine Nature Reserve.

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View from the Elephant's Eye, a cave at Silvermine Nature Reserve.

View from the Elephant’s Eye, a cave at Silvermine Nature Reserve.

Books

I am currently reading, “A splendid thousand sun” by Khaled Hosseni. He’s the very same guy who brought us “The kite runner”.